New Hope

Well it has been a very long time since my last post. Long enough in fact that Jill is back from maternity leave. There is some exciting news that gives me new hope that Kathy and I will be parents.

We are moving back to Minnesota and Kathy has a new job that offers health insurance after 3 months. Normally this wouldn't be a big deal because my job offers really could health insurance. Except for the fact that my federal insurance has never covered IVF, there is a chance that the coverage Kathy gets could cover IVF. We are still waiting to find out which program her job will offer.

Until then we will be saying a lot of prayers. Maybe this is God's reason for moving us back at this point in our life. :)

Beautiful new baby boy for Jill and Trevor.

Well, it has been awhile since I have had anything new to post. Trying to recover from a failed IUI cycle and figure out where to go next, I guess.

On Sunday June 27th at 12:57 PM Jill and Trevor Parmley had a beautiful baby boy named Christopher Brandon. At 9 lbs 10 oz and 21 inches long, he was a very big boy. I got to hang out with their three year old Kira for about a hour and a half while Jill and Trevor were in the delivery room and waiting for Grandma and Grandpa to get there. We drew 10 or so pictures. From a red dog named Freddie to a mommy dog chasing a daddy dog.

After Jill and Christopher were able to have visitors, I went back to the hospital and spent about 2 hours with Jill, Trevor, Jill's mom & dad, Kira, and Christopher. I took a few pictures, not as many as I did when Kristi had her baby a couple weeks ago, but I didn't want to get in the way.

Monday evening Kathy and I stopped back at the hospital, being she wasn't able to be there Sunday, because she was in Madison. I stopped at Walgren's and printed out a really cute picture of Kira and Christopher that I took Sunday, and framed it for them. We only spent about an hour there, but Kathy held Christopher almost the entire time we were there. I just loved seeing her holding that baby, it almost made me cry.

I would have thought that with two people really close to me having babies recently that it would make me sad, but I have loved spending time with them and hearing all about it. It just makes me want to keep going and not give up. It makes me want to do anything with in my power to have a baby.

Originally after the IUI didn't work, we were leaning towards doing IVF in Spain, because they are in the top ten for quality of health care in the world and we could afford to do it with out having to save more money or borough any money. Now we are very close to making the decision to go to the Shady Grove Fertility Center in Rockville, MD. The funny thing is when we first started trying to have a family ( before we knew we were going to have troubles) we lived in Rockville, MD. It is quite a bit more expensive than Spain, but you get everything included for one price. This includes six tries (with fresh embryos and unlimited frozen embryo transfers), all medications, and a money back guarantee. Not just that we will get pregnant, but that we will deliver a health baby. If we don't we get all the money back and we can look into adoption. Even though it is more money and we still have to figure out how to fund it, it seems like such a good option, no stressing out or worrying, we would know that there is always another try around the corner. My friend Charles who still lives in Rockville, has said that he would let us sleep on his couch, so other than the IVF it would be mainly the cost of airfare from Chicago/Milwaukee to D.C.

If all goes well and we get all the finances lined up, we will be starting our medication regiment in July and going out to D.C. the first part of September for our first cycle.

This September 9th, will be our 4 year wedding anniversary, so it would definitely be a special anniversary gift. We have always tried to do something special for our anniversary, when we were just dating it seemed like we were never together for our year anniversary, so we have tried to make each wedding anniversary special and memorable. Our one year, was when we lived in D.C. and we drove to Niagara Falls and spent the night.  Our second anniversary we spent in Jacksonville, I was there for work and Kathy flew out to spend the following weekend with me. We stayed at the Marriott Sawgrass resort and had a wonderful time at the beach and seeing the sights. For our third anniversary, instead of going somewhere we decided to buy our selves a really nice Canon camera, so that we could take really nice pictures of our trips. It was a wonderful purchase, we use that camera all the time and the picture always turn out so incredible. If we could enjoy our fourth anniversary in D.C. getting pregnant, that would just be a dream come true.

People always say and I'd have to say that I generally agree; "everything happens for a reason." It may not be the reason we want or we may not understand why, but God always has a plan. God does not make mistakes. I know this is incredibly hard to see when you loose a loved one or are having troubles like Kathy and I are having, but the truth is God loves us. We were never promised that life on earth was going to be perfect, the only thing we were promised was that if we believed and loved in God, we could spend eternity with him in Heaven. So all we can do is say our prayers and do everything that God puts in front of us and let him do the rest. If in the end God has another plan for us, we will have to learn to accept that, but until then, we are going to do everything in our power to help God.

I have been thinking of two jokes a lot recently. The first one has to do with a man/woman sitting on the roof of their house in a flood praying fro God to help them. A boat and a helicopter come to save them and they tell them that they don't need saving, God will save them. Later they are praying to God to save them and he responds back to them "I sent a boat and a helicopter to save you" (that maybe wasn't a joke, maybe more of a parable, any way) the second one is definitely a joke. A blonde ( I can say this cause I'm blonde) is praying to God to win the lottery ( as I'm sure we all do from time to time). Each night she prays to win the lottery and each night she does not win, finally she is upset with God, "why have you not let me win the lottery?" God replied back to the blonde, "help me out a little bit and buy a lottery ticket." I think they are both very true. We can't expect God to do all the work, God puts options in front of us and it is our responsibility to take advantage of them and make our miracles happen.

New niece...

Well we got to be in Minneapolis this weekend for the birth of our third niece. Little miss Ava June Ganske was born at 937 am on June 11, 2010. She was 7 lbs 12 oz and 20.25 inches long.

Being in the hospital this morning, reminded me of why we are trying so hard to become parents. Babies are the most amazing miracle God has every created. If one day we are able to experience what Kristi and Garrett got to experience today, all of the hard work and emotional ups and downs will be well worth it. On those nights when Kathy is in tears and wondering why we are having to go through this, I remind her that parents are always willing to do what ever they have to for their kids. We don't have kids yet, but I'm willing to do anything for the possibility of having kids. The only thing that will totally deflate me is a doctor telling me that there is no way to have kids. The day we have nothing left to try is the day I will cry my eyes out. Until then, I will continue to fight the tears back with hope that the next step will work.

I went into this weekend expecting the birth of Kristi and Garrets second child to make me tear up and be sad. The amazing thing, I didn't once feel like crying today. I think Kathy might have a bit, but I just kept thinking how much I want that. I took hundreds of pictures and just enjoyed the day. I really felt like one day God was going to bring that experience to us. Today was a great day.

Congratulations Kristi and Garrett. We love you so much.

Next step in our long journey

Well we still have a lot of research to do, but right now it seems God wants us to go to Spain for some reason. We have been doing a lot of research into IVF; quality, rates and costs. It seems that most places have similar rates, and the rates vary more by the age of the woman than by fertility centers. Now quality of care is a big concern. Most people are familiar with the quality of health care we receive in the US and that seems safe. The funny thing is the US is 27th on the WHO's (World Health Organization) list of top countries for health care. The US is also the most expensive (developed) country in the world for IVF. The cost for one try of IVF, not including ICSI, meds, freezing, or testing is $15,000. Canada comes in a close second at $10,000. Most of European countries are around $5,000 and include everything you would need for a successfull IVF cycle.

We have been doing research into the Czech Republic and have been able to find a lot of really good information about IVF there, but with our research we have found that the Czeck is actually below the US for quality of care. So we are starting to lean away from that as an option.

The reason I said it seems God wants us to go to Spain, is Kathy has found some really great information about IVF in Madrid and Spain is the 4th country in the world for quality of health care. The facility we are looking into right now is Procreatec in Madrid Spain. Check out the website: http://www.procreatec.com/fertilidad_clinica_english.html They have English speaking doctors and a state of the art facility. One cycle of IVF there runs about $5,000 (US) and includes; ICSI, assisted hatching. genetic testing, freezing, storage, and all medicines. The freezing and storage are key, because you can do a second try with the frozen embryos for $1,000 (US). In addition to the $5,000 will be airfare ($1,400), Hotel ($1,100) and travel coordinator/chauffeur ($400). So for about $7,900 we would have the best chance of conceiving a child and a wonderful trip to Spain.

The other top option right now is the Shady Grove Fertility Center in Rockville, MD. It's funny, that is where we used to live and we could probably stay with our friend Charles. The nice thing about this option is they give you 6 tries and if you don't give birth to a child, you get all of your money back. The problem is it costs $29,500 to do this. With what we currently have saved this isn't an option with out a loan of some sort. Knowing that being a parent isn't cheap I hate to go into that much debt to have a child and then have trouble providing for that child.

I'm sure there will be a lot more to follow.

The news...

Well, Kathy and I did a pregnancy test Sunday night when I got back from Fargo. We were both so nervous, I guess we both thought that this might be the time that something would work. It said not pregnant, funny thing is I bet a lot of people have a sigh of relief when they see that. For Kathy and me it was like being punched by Mike Tyson while you are trying to pick yourself up off the mat.

 I did some research online Sunday evening and thought that maybe she took it too early and tried to find comfort in the fact that we could still be pregnant. The next day Kathy went in to do a HCG test. The nurse said it needs to be over a value of 2 to be pregnant, and she said ours was below two. She didn't say what it was, all we know is it didn't work.

We knew going into this that the chances of success were only 10%, and we decided that for the small amount we had to invest in trying it, we might as well give it a shot. With IVF the success rates are usually much higher, above 50% and in a couple as young as us it could be over 65%.

It was a rough day, I know it hit Kathy really hard and she was sick on top of it. I brought some flowers home, but it's not much of a consolation. I guess I was really upset, but the thing that kept me from loosing it, is the fact that there are still things we can do. If this would have been the last thing available I would have stayed home from work crying.

 I guess God has another adventure in store for us before we can be parents...

Progesterone Test

Kathy got her results back from her progesterone test, that I believe she took yesterday. I wasn't really paying attention when she told me she went to get her blood drawn, but I sure was when she told me the results.

So the doctor said that anything over 30 is a good sign that we may be on our way to being pregnant. Kathy's level was 50.8, so that was definitely good news. It's amazing how good, good news can make you feel.

I'm still a little confused about how the Progesterone level works. The follwoing link: http://www.justmommies.com/articles/progesterone-pregnancy.shtml provides the following information on progesterone levels.

Progesterone during menstrual cycle
Day 1-14: >1 to 1.5 ng/ml
Day 15-28: 2-28 ng/ml

Progesterone during pregnancy
First Trimester: 9-47
Second Trimester : 17-147 ng/ml
Third Trimester: 55-200 ng/ml

So according to this chart Kathy's levels are already in the Second Trimester range. I believe the doctor has given her progesterone suppositories to take the last three days, so that may have elevated her numbers. I guess the important think is, she is above the 28 for a normal cycle. That is also probably why the doctor said anything over 30 was a good sign.

We will have to try and not get too excited yet, we still have to wait until next Tuesday to find out if we are pregnant.

IUI

Well I guess I should have started blogging a few years back when this all started. Unfortunately it kind of sneaks up on you. A month turns into 6, and then a year turns into two.

Last Tuesday (25MAY2010) we did our first try at IUI. I had to go in at 9:30AM and provide the semen. They went through the process of washing the semen and preparing it for IUI. At the start of the process I had 5.5 million semen per ml with 54% motile, from my Internet based medical degree (J/K) I would say that is pretty good for a round of IUI. I had a total of 4.2 ml total so that rounds to roughly 22 million total sperm. Unfortunately after they washed them I only had 1 million motile sperm left, concentrated down to 1/2 a ml. This is not the best result for a round of IUI, but like they always say "it only takes one."

Kathy came with and after that we went to Best Buy so she could buy the second season of True Blood. Kind of felt weird because we got to the store right as it opened (by sheer chance) and walked in with grown men, who proceeded to grab the True Blood movie, a t-shirt and a few bottles of the True Blood drink. We then went to Panera for a light breakfast and back to the hospital at 11:15AM so that we could do the procedure. I know Kathy was nervous, they said it doesn't hurt, but she had seen online where they said it did. So I know she was scared, but I'm sure it helped that I was right there beside her. The whole procedure took 5 maybe 10 minutes, about the same as the ultrasound to check for cysts. She did say that it hurt a little bit. Dr. Whittmaack said here cervix was hiding from him and that may be why it hurt a little bit.

Kathy laid on the table/chair for about 20 minutes even though they said she only had to stay 10. We drove back to Kenosha and watched movies and relaxed all afternoon.

We can do a pregnancy test next Tuesday (8JUN2010), I was supposed to be back home next week, but I didn't want Kathy to go through the joy or pain that the pregnancy test will inevitably bring, by her self, so I will made sure I'll be home for it.

Hopefully my next post is good news?

First post

Hi all, this is my very first blog (ever). I'm not big into tweeting and didn't think I would get into blogging, but I guess I was wrong. I'm not really sure if anyone will read this or if I care, I was just thinking it would be a good way to cope with the stress and verbalize my feelings.

A little background:

My wife and I have been married for almost 4 years (Sept 9.) and have been actively trying to have a baby since. We spent about 18 months trying before we went to the doctor. My wife was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovary Disease (PCOS), which basically means she gets cysts on her ovaries and will sometimes not ovulate (depending on if there are cysts or not). She has been doing really well, she has been put on Metformin, which is a diabetes drug, but it also helps her to ovulate and not get cysts.

I have also had low testosterone which results in low sperm production. I have had a lot of semen analysis to date and they have ranged from below a million per ml to 7 million per ml.

As we started to realize that we had multiple issue preventing us from having the baby of our dreams, we decided to go to a specialist for help. The first stop was Advanced Fertility in Gurnee, IL. They were nice at first but quickly took the stance that the only solution to our issues was to do In Vitro Fertilisation (IVF) at a cost of $15,000 per try. At this point we had both done a lot of research and knew for a fact that Intrauterine Insemination (IUI) was a very real possibility for us. Advanced Fertility was very proud of their success rates and wasn't willing to try the less expensive IUI, and persisted that IVF was the only way. Not being in a position to spend $15,000 and none of this being covered by our insurance (BCBS) we moved on to another fertility center.

*At this point we still have no information as to what is causing my low testosterone.

Since then we have been seeing Dr. Frank Whittmaack with Aurora Health Care in Milwaukee, WI. He and his staff have been great, he has put me through every test he can think of to try and figure out why my testosterone is low. About the only abnormality he found was a small imperfection on 1 of 20 MRI scans. This could have been a pituitary tumor that was causing my problems. I was very excited even though that would mean I would have to have surgery to fix the problem. However we quickly realized that if it was a tumor it wasn't secreting anything and was more than likely just an imperfection with the MRI itself and not a tiny little tumor. I had two other specialist look at the MRI's and my records and confirmed that it was not a tumor. Still to the day that I am writing this, I have no idea of any reason why my testosterone is low.