Today we had our first real ultrasound, we have had a lot of them in the past, but this is the first one that we could see our future baby. As you may remember they put in two embryos and today we found out only one attached. It was a day full of mixed feelings. To start with I was really excited to be able to see our baby(ies), and my heart skipped a beat when we saw the heart beat. It was a very tiny little line that bounced up and down. I can't explain how amazing that feels after all this time trying. At the same time, I have been thinking from the start that I was going to assume both embryos where in there until I heard differently. I just felt like they were little people already developing, so when we found out there was only one in there, it was a bit sad. I asked the doctor at least 2 or 3 times, "are you sure there isn't another one, maybe he is hiding." He assured me that he checked everywhere and there was only one, so I follow it the obvious question, " where did he go?" he said that it was just some very small cells and most likely they dissolved into her lining.
Through out this whole process, all 5 or so years, I have taken great consolation in the phrase...God always has a plan. and that we may not always know it, but things happen for a reason. When we finally found out we are pregnant, I knew that statement couldn't be more true. In the last year, we were able to move close to our families, I have a job that does not involve travel (any more), we were able to come up with the funds to try IVF and were are so lucky to be pregnant. Call it what you want, stars aligning, but I know that God has a plan for our life and believe in him and all will be good.
The last week I start to think about what having twins would really mean: twice as many diapers, formula, car seats, etc. It also means a much higher chance of complications ( possibly loosing both), and it also means twice as much daycare cost if Kathy goes back to work. With all that said, God doesn't give you more than you can handle, I think the last week or so, God and I both decided twins might be a little too much at this time.
At this point I am going to shower our new baby with twice the love, and if down the road God has a plan for another child, then he is going to have to do some more miraculous conception stuff.
Today was the last office visit at The Center for Reproductive Medicine (as long as everything continues to go well). Now to the OB GYN....
